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The benefit of taking a break from positivity

The benefits of taking a break from positivity

It's ironic that today's post is about unsubscribing from newsletters, Facebook, blog sites, websites, writer groups, etc but at the risk of alienating people, I don't want to lose you of course, but I wanted to share why I've done exactly this.

There is too much positivity that it's becoming fake.

I signed up to newsletters to help me become a better writer, to help me promote my works, to help! help! help! I'm drowning in help. All of it is positive, yet all of it is fake. Nobody really wants to help. They want to make money from helping.

I joined a few Facebook groups to connect with other authors - successful authors - who've done it all before and they're happy to share their experiences. However, these groups quickly became damaging rather than helpful.

1. First of all, their fake coyness became infuriating. It became clear it was a marketing strategy that I don't care for.

2. Most of their posts turned into bragging rights. A number one here, a best seller there, 12,000 subscribers, thousands of dollars earned this month. Yes, we can all do this. Except that we're not.

3. Lastly, and perhaps the most damaging of all, we authors are becoming addicted to gambling on a promise. So many promotion sites are offering the world, and we're buying it. If the promotion works, the site takes the credit. If it fails it's the author's fault - book cover sucks, blurb sucks, you chose the wrong promotion.

I need to take a break from all this (fake) positivity.

How I maintain my positivity

I believe that true positivity comes from within. It should not be forced in from the outside. I find that too many conflicting opinions impact the positivity living inside me. So these are some of the things I do to maintain my true positive wellbeing.

I have a day job. I work in payroll, not because I enjoy paying people, but it keeps my mind active calculating hours and rates and checking legislation and employment contract conditions.

I read books, of course. But reading can be withdrawing, so I'm mindful not to withdraw too much.

My writing gives my mind plenty of action, there's research, promotion, writing blog posts, designing covers, formatting books.

I have a small dog but boy she's got a lot of energy. She loves her morning walks and if I don't take her, she stares at me all day. The truth is, I love to walk her in the morning. There's nobody around. It's our time.

I also eat a balanced diet. Sure I have pizza, chocolate, donuts, and alcohol, but the next day I fill up on salads and fruit and wholegrain sandwiches. I keep it balanced so it doesn't become one more thing to worry about.

My favourite vitamin is Vitamin D. Sunlight, I love being in the sunlight to soak up the goodness of Mother Nature. I often combine reading with sitting in the sun.

I'm not a religious person, but I have values and principles and I make sure I adhere to them. And while I don't know if heaven exists, I live my life as if there is a heaven and I wouldn't want to be barred from entering. It's a simple philosophy.

So it's no promo, no brags, no links on this post

There are no links in this newsletter, no calls to action, no self-promo. This newsletter is just a reminder to take a moment of reflection whenever you feel you need one. Recharge your batteries. Find your positivity. Enjoy your life. We find it easy to take a break from all that negativity, yet sometimes positivity is a wolf in sheep's clothing. Ask what they're really trying to do. What are they selling? And if they're promising something too good to be true, it usually is.

Take care till we next chat.

D L Richardson


  1. Kudos for having such a healthy grip on reality. Thanks for sharing it.

    1. Thanks for the kudos, J. I. Rogers. I feel quite empowered actually.

  2. I love it! The same thoughts came to my mind today. I used to market similar things in my mentalist work, and I still believe it. But I notice most people regurgitate words and quotes more than live them.

    In fact, if I ask them to say what they'd do if they won a million dollars. The fake answers abound. Yes, some who say they'd give it all to charity could be telling the truth, but they are a minority.

    In an effort to "be positive", many lose their sense of self, their own identity, all for the sake of approval.

    I'm glad to see you as a person keeping it real, Deb :)

    1. Thanks Chris. You're right about the million dollars question. As if they would. I've seen firsthand what money does to people. I'm thinking that positivity and resilience are not always the same thing.

      And I refuse to lose who am I for the approval. That should be my new Twitter profile. D L Richardson, keeping it real since 1996.

  3. So interesting to read this. I haven't updated my blog for a while because I had no positivity to share. Have been going through a bit of a submission grind and then decided I've had enough, I just want to get my thoughts out there as they are. While my blog is away to connect with readers, it's also a legacy of my writing journey so it has to contain some warts. I also wonder if some of my rage and frustration is also coming from the social media glittery life everyone except me is living. But I can't quit it because it is a useful tool for networking and getting to know about things. So it's just a matter of calling bullshit when I see it and making sure I do what you're doing, taking care of myself and protecting my space.

    1. Hi Amra
      I like your phrase 'social media glittery life'. I think that's exactly what I'm feeling too. Are we desperate for approval or are we afraid to be seen as flawed? Let's keep calling the bullshit out and taking care of ourselves.

      Thanks so much for dropping by and sharing.
      D L xoxo


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